Teology
by Ster J
Summary: Breaking up is hard to do.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Teology  
Author: Ster Julie

Rating: PG

Codes: S/U; Star Trek 2009

Part: 1 of 1

Summary: Breaking up is hard to do

_Thank you, Wikipedia for the definition!_

—ooOoo—

Her perfumes lingers but is fading. Her warmth no longer permeates his sheets, his rooms. Her laughter no longer brightens his off-hours. Her touch no longer soothes away his aches, his still-fresh mourning. Her kisses no longer distract him from his pain.

He is mourning anew.

_Break-up._ What an appropriate term. Apart from her he is broken. Apart from her he is in darkness, in pain, cold and achingly lonely.

He sighs heavily.

The secrets were "the last straw," she had said.

She had found him performing the death rituals.

"_For whom?" she asked._

"_For my financeé_,_" he replied_

"_For your _financeé?_" she exploded. "You were with me for _two years_ while you had someone waiting for you at home?!"_

"_Does it matter? She is dead now."_

"_It _does _matter. If you were unfaithful to your financeé, how can I know that you will be faithful to me?"_

_Those words echoed doom. No matter how he explained that T'Pring had been selected for him in an arranged marriage, that he neither knew her well nor desired her, his words were not received. _

_She had shut herself down, had shut him out._

_She hastily gathered her belongings from his rooms—her spare toiletries and nightwear, her extra uniform. She took the images of the two of them and threw them in the 'cycler. She shuffled through the music discs on his shelf pulled out those which belonged to her, and added them to the growing pile on his bed._

_He spoke to her the whole time she raged like a tempest through his space, his heart, but he knew she didn't hear him. He watched as she removed his pillow and stuffed her belongings into its case. _

_He knew that they were over._

_She stormed up to his face and demanded, "Where are my letters? I want them back. _All_ of them. _Now."

_He moved to his storage area and removed a beautifully carved box. He opened the chest and displayed every scrap of real paper she had ever given him tied in one of her hair ribbons. He noticed how her face softened briefly, then hardened again. He experienced a modicum of hope when she stuffed the notes into the pillowcase instead of molecularly incinerating them in the 'cycler._

The box still lay open and empty on his shelf. It was an appropriate representation of his heart.

He thought not of the future, not of the danger he was now in without a mate or potential mate. He thought of only the present—the fading perfume, the cold loneliness of his room, of his empty, aching heart.

He sought solace in science, in teology, the study of the end result, of the purpose of things. Was his relationship with her a means to an end, a distraction from his duty at home? Yet with no home left, what purpose did their relationship serve? Or was he just dallying on the human side of his gene pool?

No. He cared for her, even loved her, if he was truly honest with himself. If he learned nothing else these past two years he learned that he could love someone, that he _did_ love.

He remembered the anger, worse, the disappointment on her face and sighed heavily. He had to accept and try to move on.

No.

He also remembered how touched she was when she saw that he had kept every scrap, every hastily scrawled love note to him. He felt hope.

_Ah,_ he told himself, _this is most likely just a "lover's spat." I will endeavor to win her back, to "do right by her" this time._

-End part 1-

_**Teleology**__ (__Greek__: __telos__: end, purpose) is the __philosophical__ study of design and __purpose__. A teleological school of thought is one that holds all things to be designed for or directed toward a final result, that there is an inherent purpose or final cause for all that exists._


	2. Medical Log

Title: Teology  
Author: Ster Julie

Rating: PG

Codes: S/U; Star Trek 2009

Part: 2 of 3

Summary: Breaking up is hard to do.

—ooOoo—

_Medical Log: Update on Commander Spock. _

_Spock remains in isolation. The infection in the lacerations he received at the end of the Caomian's lash is not responding to the broad-spectrum antibiotic. In fact, I have since had to treat Spock with anti-nausea medication which is interfering with his ability to control pain. Consequently, I have kept Spock lightly sedated so that he could get some rest while his body fights this infection._

_It's difficult to see him so alone hour after hour. I try to find some time to spend with him during his lucid moments. He always seems so grateful. I'll have to get some visitors here to break the monotony for him._

_End log._

_Personal note: Spock's breakup with Uhura couldn't have come at a worse time. He could use her encouragement right now. I'll have to ask her to visit him, to put aside their differences and just help him._

_End personal log_.

McCoy hit the _save_ button, then after a very brief consideration, he "accidentally" hit the _send_ button also.

Uhura found a copy waiting in her inbox.

-End part 2-


	3. You are all I need

Title: Teology  
Author: Ster Julie

Rating: PG

Codes: h/c; S/U; Star Trek 2009

Part: 3 of 3

Summary: Breaking up is hard to do.

—ooOoo—

He writhed on the bed, unable to find a comfortable position. The infection and nausea had left him weak as a kitten, which did nothing to help his mood. He was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

He heard the door open and presumed it to be medical personnel.

"Please ask Dr. McCoy for more pain medication," he said from his cocoon of blankets. He sniffed in frustration at being too weak to control his pain or his emotions. It was a difficult admission to ask for the sedative.

He wondered why he didn't hear any response from his visitor or hear the door open again as his request was relayed. Instead, he heard an answering snuffle, then a sob.

He looked up from the bed. _She_ was there, a mess of tears marring her sweet face.

She dashed the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. It was difficult to see her beloved suffer so. She smiled weakly at the term "beloved." He _was_ her beloved, dearer to her than anyone she had met previously. Imagining him with anyone else, even in an arranged marriage, made her positively insane with jealousy.

"'Elder Selek' set me straight," she said simply, referring to the code name Spock Prime used for himself.

"I did not know you were crooked," he teased, hope blooming again and pain fading.

"He told me that T'Pring gave up her seat on an escape shuttle since there was no room for her lover and her newborn son." She teared up again at the bravery of the woman and at her own pettiness. "I'm so sorry!" she sobbed.

He reached an arm to her. "It is _I_ who should apologize," he responded. "I should have told you earlier about my fiancée. I should have told you that we had agreed not to marry unless absolutely necessary."

"Huh?" she asked in confusion.

"I'll explain later," he demurred.

"I'll go and ask for the pain med," she said at last.

He wiped a tear from her cheek. "Not necessary. You are all I need."

"Oh, Spock!" she cried.

He carefully moved to the edge of the bed, sat on the side and pulled her into his arms.

She cradled him against her shoulder and noticed his damp clothing.

"You're all wet," she noted.

"My fever broke."

"And you stink."

"Indeed."

"I'll call Doctor McCoy."

"Not necessary," the doctor replied as he entered, scanner whirring. "That's better," he commented at the results. "Let's see your back." McCoy gently probed the worst of the wounds. "_Much_ better. Now, let's see about cleaning you up. Shall I call an orderly, so would you prefer Ms. Uhura's help?"

Spock raised an eyebrow as if to say, "Are you kidding?"

She changed his bedding while he tended to basic bodily functions. Later as he sat under the hot spray he considered teology again. He was enjoying the gentle strokes of her hands as she carefully cleansed his back. He concluded that his empty marriage to T'Pring had allowed him to appreciate a relationship with someone he knew and desired. He mentally saluted his former bondswife and thanked her for her sacrifice. T'Pring's decision to stay and die with her family proved that love was not solely a human affliction. Even two Vulcans could be so in love that one would choose to die with one's spouse that face life without the other.

As warms puffs of air dried his body, he held two fingers out to his beloved. Once she understood what was expected of her, she gave the proper response. She mimicked the gesture and touched her two fingers to his.

Suddenly, her body arched to him as though electricity was flowing from their point of contact to the depths of her soul. She knew his great love, his great desire for her, and she wept with joy.

He wished he had the strength for more, that he had at least brushed his teeth so he could kiss her, but further intimacies would have to wait until he was stronger.

McCoy checked in later and found that she had helped him back to bed. He found Spock sleeping peacefully, his hand encased in Nyota's clasped hands. The doctor smiled at her.

"Thank you," she whispered. McCoy nodded in response.

"Thank teology," Spock murmured in his sleep.

-END-


End file.
